


dear, richie

by captaincharisma



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: M/M, Reddie, idk how else to tag this, richie is highkey suicidal, this is hella gay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-21
Updated: 2019-12-07
Packaged: 2021-02-16 12:42:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21508132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/captaincharisma/pseuds/captaincharisma
Summary: "Dear, Richie.. You were my only one."or the one where Richie receives a journal Eddie has been writing in since he moved away.
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Kudos: 29





	1. O N E

It was the day of Eddie's 'funeral' and the losers club came together once again, which wouldn't be the last for sure. Beverly and Ben were getting married, so were Bill and Mike. There just left Richie by himself, never seeking out another lover because his only one was laying underneath a collapsed house.. not even in a safe casket six feet under. 

Myra sat front row and so did Richie. She kept staring at him as if her glare was saying "this row is for family only". Richie just sighed and stared at the carpeted floor beneath his feet. He ran the ball of his foot across the carpet, changing the shade with each swipe.

Beverly was the first to speak. She was trying to choke back her tears as she held onto the first and only thing Eddie ever gave to her.. a silver bracelet.

"Eddie was like my little brother, always nagging me but always trying to keep me safe. He would have and literally gave his life for not only me, but for all of us. This bracelet was the only thing he ever gave me, but I'll never forget the reason he gave it to me," Beverly took a sharp breath before she shakily let it out. "It was his mother's. He told me he would never marry anyone, so he gave it to me."

Myra sneered at Beverly's comment and rolled her eyes. Richie didn't notice because he was too busy wriggling the ring around his finger. It wasn't from Eddie and it never would be, but he wore it every day of his life to avoid ever being hit on or being asked on dates because he only ever wanted Eddie. They had planned on running away together, but it won't ever happen now and it tore Richie a part.

Before Richie knew it, it was his turn to speak. He suddenly got sick to his stomach as he stood up. Everyone stared at him with tears in their eyes and he just froze at the microphone. He looked down for a moment before he took a gaze around the room where he swore he had seen Eddie standing in the corner with his little fanny pack around his waist. A smile cracked on Richie's face.

"I was, hell, still am gay for this man." Beverly smiled in the 'audience' of distressed friends and family members. Richie thought of this as one of his comedy shows, just without the morbid jokes. 

"I kept my mouth shut for so long and I regret never telling him how I felt, but somehow I feel like he already knew. I know he didn't reciprocate any of the feelings since he married good ol' Mrs.K here in front of me." Richie meant it in an insulting way, but Myra took it as a compliment. More or less putting them on better terms for the next thing that happened.

Myra stood up from her seat and waddled her way up to the podium that Richie stood at. She set a small journal in front of Richie before she engulfed him in an uncomfortable hug, not just for him but for everyone. Richie didn't even finish his speech. He just grabbed the journal and sat down. There was no title, no explanation to what it was.

The service ended and Richie left. He didn't say goodbye to anyone. He got into his car and drove away. One hand on the steering wheel and the other on the leather bound book where Eddie would have sat. His fingers ran over the ridges of the spine and the material of the strap burned his finger when drug across.

Richie didn't pay much attention to the road even though he should've been. He was too focused on the changing colors of the leaves and the worn paint on the road. He watched as a family of deer crossed a stream in the forest to the right. Richie stopped the car and couldn't hold it back anymore. He wanted, no he needed that with Eddie. He deserved that with Eddie. Eddie didn't deserve to suffer. Eddie didn't deserve to have every hope of a family, whether it was with him or with Myra, torn away from him.

Eddie Kaspbrak deserved to have a life. A happy life he never got when he was a kid. A life without pain and a life without any worries. Eddie Kaspbrak deserved better.

Richie finally collected himself and finished his journey home. He grabbed the journal and slugged up to his front door. When he opened it, his home was cold and lifeless. It surely wasn't clean, but who cared? Richie had no reason to clean or to keep it clean anymore. 

Richie shut his front door, locked it, and just went straight to his office. He set the journal on his desk and just stared at it. His eyes welled up once more just at the thought of what could be inside. It took him a good fifteen minutes before he finally picked it up. He grazed his finger over the strap as he pulled it off of the journal. He opened the front page to see something written in small print.

_Richie, this is for you my love._

Richie's breath hitched in his throat as he turned to the next page.

_Dear, Richie.._


	2. T W O

The page felt worn out as if it had been read multiple times. Finger oils littered the pages as if Eddie had flipped this page more than once. Richie began to read aloud.

_Dear Richie,_

_I'm not sure if you'll ever read this, but I hope I can give it to you in person one day. This letter is the first of so many that I'm going to write. Right now, I'm 16. I just moved away from you and it was the single hardest thing I've ever had to do. I overthought how I was going to say goodbye for MONTHS. Every time we hung out, I just imagined how my life was going to be without you. I never thought you'd miss me, so I never worried about that too much. I know I should've thought about your feelings and I'm sorry that I was being selfish. I just knew it was going to hurt me SO BAD and I couldn't stand it. When I left last week, I didn't want to let go when you held me. I felt so warm and at home, I didn't want it to end. I don't know why, I think I might like you. LIke, like you, Rich. I have a crush on you. A huge one._

Richie began to cry as he read. Everything he felt was mutual. EVERYTHING. From the days that they incoherently stared at each other's lips to the days they laid in the hammock together to the days they spent in Eddie's attic reading comics while it poured down rain. Eddie felt the same and Richie was an idiot. Richie just let their days pass as kids without ever trying to tell Eddie about how he felt. Eddie was never going to know.

_My mommy calls you a dirty boy who I shouldn't hang out with, but I think she's wrong, Rich. I don't care that she thinks that because you're my best friend in the entire world. I just wish that I wasn't a ~~damn~~ chicken so I could tell you how I feel. I don't think you'd feel the same, but it would be worth a try. Sometimes Bev tells me that you're in love with me, but I just brush it off because who cares? She's probably just saying that so I'll feel better about what I'm doing with my life. It ~~fucking~~ sucks to see you everyday and KNOW that you're straighter than a board. It's whatever though and this is kind of long, so I'm gonna get out._

_From, Eddie_


End file.
